My mom constantly tells me that if I honor God he will honor me. I didn't quite understand what that meant until a couple days ago.
It's funny how much relationships affect my life. I don't really realize how much they affect me until something goes wrong. Then I get all in a panic trying to make things better. As my brother puts it, "I'm a person pleaser." This can be good and bad. It's hard to try to make everyone happy but it's good to think of people's feelings.
Recently, I have been struggling with a relationship of mine. It's more struggling with what I want and what God wants really. I know what it is I'm supposed to do but half the time (if not more) I don't listen and do what I want anyway. From what I have experienced so far-I lose. Heart ache follows quickly and things start to descend. I loose sleep for various reasons, loose concentration in school, loose focus on my goals. Most regretfully, I loose my relationship with God.
I've never felt closer to God than right now. Sure I have felt the Spirit move in great ways before, but right now, I feel CLOSE. Like God is right by me helping me make decisions and giving me confidence in myself, track, school work, and personal relationships. It didn't just happen on it's own however, it happened because one day in church I decided that Jesus is and should be the most important thing in my life. The problem with this is I've said this before and have gone back into my old ways...living for myself. One thing I didn't have before that I do now is a schedule. That sounds weird, but I've now scheduled times when it's just me and God. After practice in the morning I sit down and pray just one and one. No distractions, no other thoughts, just prayer. Of course I have prayed before. Many many many countless prayers..one and one just me and him. The thing is lately, they haven't felt genuine. I feel like when I pray I am thinking a hundred things at once that keep popping into my prayer. "What time is it?" "I need to do this...and this..and this.." Distractions that take me away from my one and one time. I was sick of it. So I decided it was time to get focused and get serious.
It's amazing how God answers prayers...if you genuinely give all of yourself and your time to Him.
He's working in my life and it feels amazing. I feel like when I live for him, pressures of everyday life are not so bad. "Pray without ceasing." God is so great people. One thing I always say in my prayers is that I live for God today and do what he wants me to do. I pray that people see God through me and that I can be a light for him.
Every since I started doing this, track has been better. I pray every morning before my run that it goes well. I should pray that I run for him too. I need to do that more. God gave me this talent. I feel that I have more confidence and mental strength when I rely on God to take my strides with me. My outlook on my relationships has been positive too even in the roughest times. I feel like when I don't get my way I should praise God. Thank you Lord that I'm not getting what I want because I know that what I want right now is not what you want. Sometimes you don't always know, but right now I do. Right now I'm not getting my way with something and it hurts badly. In the past I would, but I know that God has a plan, there's a reason why this isn't working out, and I need to be patient. Relationships are tricky...especially when things get serious. That's a whole other topic though.
Honor God and he will honor you.
No comments:
Post a Comment